A Lifetime of Questions

Questions in essence are the core of our lives. Every single day of our life, we have to answer someone or something. Can you think of a single day of your life when you did not have to answer a question?.More importantly these questions have a typical relationship to the phase of life your in . Sample this question set and the related phase of the one's life.

When you are a School going kid
1) Beta(son), which School are you studying in?
2) Which class are your studying in?
3) Beta, Can you Tell ABCD.. to your uncle(gosh I hated it when my dad used to ask me narrate this stuff to his Friends to show off. Could never get past P)
When you have just completed your schooling and are enjoying the innocence of Adolescence.
1) What do you want to do after school ? (Meaning in Indian context mostly do you want to be a doctor or Engineer)
2) Why don't you apply for so and so college? (this mostly depends on your class 12 score) . And god damn everybody has an advice for you in this phase.
When you are just out of College and have somehow landed up in some job.
1) Which company do you work for? What does the company do?
2) How much is this Company paying for a fresher?
3) Oh you work for XYZ company!!, my friend's son/daughter also works for the same company. Do you by any chance know him/her ?(Would have loved to know the Daughters but unfortunately ,such references are less in number)
When you have worked for 2-3 years for the same company
1) Oh you are still with the company? Don't you want to change? (translated looks like the guy is not finding any other job, poor chap.) Why the hell can a guy not stay in the same company for 3 years and still be happy ?. (Damn!! one more question)
Two years hence
1) When are you getting married?
2) Are you searching for some girl to get married? (I wonder why a 26 year old guy can't stay single and still be happy!!)

So what does the Future of my Questionable life look like ? I guess this what is going happen in the next few years with me.

1) Which company you are working for? (this will stay until you retire)
2) Can we go to the Shopping mall today ?(Guess who can ask this question)
3) Are you planning to buy a house ? or Do you stay at a rented place ?

And thus will go on a life full of Questions (and Answers of course).

Orkut Zindabad !!

Yesterday was the 26th Anniversary of the day I stepped into this world. The day was rather mundane with me having to work late night in the office and it probably was my first "dry" Janamdin in the last 6 years. But courtesy Orkut, the day was brightened up by the amazing number of wishes I got not only from the people I know but also from the people whom I honestly don't know (in true sense.) The latter group are the people like my school classmates who I can claim to have acquaintances with and are people whom I have actually not met/talked physically for years now . So I have an image/perception of these folks which is 10 years or older and would love to meet these folks and know their story of last 10-12 yrs or so. But alas the distances make things so difficult.

But back to the point here, it is wonderful to get birthday wishes from these friends with whom I have spent my early "Happy Birthdays". Still can remember the day in school where you were "the" someone special, for you did not have to wear the wretched White Shirt-Blue Shorts - Black shoes uniform. Instead you could be at your best wearing "wrangler" jeans trouser (No shorts here) , a colorful T-Shirt and a so called Sports shoes. The Teacher would call you near the "blackboard" and the whole class would sing "happy B'day to you" only for you. ( OK I know we all sang that song in full volume only because we would get the melody or caramel Toffee at the end of the it) . Add to that you could be at your naughtiest best on day as the teachers will not scold/beat you . (After all it is your b'day). It was a top of the world feeling.

My heartfelt thanks to sites like Orkut, facebook,myspace and now the "tagged" site for getting me connected these special friends of mine. These sites have helped us connect with our long last friends and have done their bit to make the distances irrelevant. Of course it helps that these sites have a Birthday Remainder calendar else I sure would not remember any of those birthday dates. ( I hate dates )

But Why ?

Yesterday I landed up with something which I had never expected,never had prayed for and I dont know why I got it !!!....wont tell you what .. suffice that it was something which was good ....... but on the other hand .. there is something for which I have been praying for a long time , working hard towards that sacrificing my weekends and nites ....... and have been expecting that some day that will happen .......but somehow that one thing is not happening however hard I try !!! ......

Can someone explain this to me please???? whoever said work hard and the rewards will follow was somehow missing something .. agreed I worked hard even for the thing I landed up with ...... but I worked HARDER on this thing I did not and have not got ....... so what's the justification here ?

Messed up

I am having a sense of desperation now .. for some reason for some days I have not been able to get to something which I want get to .......... however hard I try somehow something in me stops me from doing it !!!...... what is it I really dunno . is it the fear of losing the existing state of harmony? or is it wanting to have the cake and eat it too.......somebody help me out of this messI am in right now ...... I wanna break free ........unshackle all the chains break all barriers.........

Optimism!!

The B school which I wanted to join so desperately gave out it's results today .. or rather yesterday by sending out emails to all the Admits.....and u guessed right.. I dint get any such emails/sms .. but wat is surprising is that they did not send a reject email either leaving us all ( I am thinking there will b many like me ) in the lurch over the weekend .......... the least they wud have done is send an reject email!!!

but they are Giving people like me a Ray of Hope ........ Even after all the Admit mails have been handed.. we as a bunch are hanging to the fact that they ( the Ad-com) did not send a reject.......... It is amazing how people are optimistic people are especially for certain things they desperately want to make happen .......reminds me of the famous hindi saying .. "doobte hue ko Tinke ka sahara dena "........
Anyway I guess it is time for me move on and think of my future plans.. coz the more I think over it ....... the more less optimistic I am of getting an Admit....(If this Sounds confusing .. forgive my state of mind)

Relationship fundas

Met up with a school friend of mine after a long hiatus . The usual Nostalgia gripped us where we laughed and poked fun at each other for the silly and now unimaginable things which we did in school.... ( Like playing cricket for the whole day after the first period attendence ) .. All was honky dory until my friend asked "how many relationships have been in all these years ?"

The Question forced me to look for answers to certain questions which I have so far avoided to the Hilt like why the heck did I not get into a "true" relationship in all these years of my adulthood......Whom do I blame for this single State of mine ??( The human in you always looks for scapegoats )

The answer I find lies deep within myself. I guess I need to blame ( aah.. here comes the scapegoat) the risk averse mindset which I have . I have had great friends with whom I have spend some really great moments and wanted to extend these friendships to something special Relationships .... but somehow.. The fear that what happens if she says the dreaded "no" .. the fear that I lose whatever good time I am having now if I take the next step .. meant that I maintained the Status Quo and waited for something to happen !!!!!!!! rather than going for the Kill...... Only later did I realise that it is only "me" who can make "it" and noone else ....... All I had to do was go with attitude "Come what may I will face it" ......but that is way it is ........ . someone else has made it happen and I am still the Relationship status :Single person who finds solace in saying "Don't care the world"