Buses, Beer and Brawls :)

Had the chance to board a City transport bus (aka Bangalore Metropolitan Transport Corporation bus in Namma Bengalooru, BEST in mumbai) after quite a long time yesterday. It was a late night (by Bangalore's standards) trip at around 10pm and as usual the occupants of the bus included people who had just had the daily dosage of Beers and spirits . Add to that the bus was jam packed with people jostling and strugling for every inch of space.

So in comes the conductor ( not as in the Music bands), the quintessential khaki clad Ticket issuer and money collector. ( They call him Conductor.. may be because he conducts tickets/money across the bus. ). The conductor also ensures that people don't stand on the bus doors Footboarding and also creates space(creative isn't it) by pushing and shooving the commuters together thereby aggravating already smelly sweaty situation the standing passengers are in. In his space creation endeavor, the ticket issuer (conductor if u like ), inadvertantly pushes one of the " Beer spirited " passengers . And there starts the verbal dual.

Spirited Drunkard (mostly a Migrant bhaiya ji from UP/bihar): Kyon dhakka de rahe ho bhai ??
conductor(in broken hindi) : door pe kada ho.. baaki log ko jagah do ?
Spirited Drunkard: Sarkari bus hai. Jahan chahiye wahan kade rahenge.
conductor(in broken hindi) : Bus sarkari hai lekin hum bus ke conductor hai .Jaise hum bolenge waise hoga
Spirited Drunkard: Humhe nahi hilenge
Another passenger jumps in support of our Conductor : arey bhai kyon halla kar rahe ho. Kaam karne do Conductor "saab" ko
Conductor with an Inflated Ego(saab effect) to the whole bus : pata nahi kahan kahan se log aathe hai . Dimaag ka dahi banathe hai. Khud to kaam nahi karthe, humhe nahi karne dete
Spirited Drunkard :Mumbles something to which noone is listening to

The driver on hearing the high pitch drama slows the bus and asks " Kaun hai? Yeh kya ho raha hai ?? ". By now someone in the inside the bus who is comfortably sitted has had enough of high volume shouts and chips in " Chup karo and Driver ko gaadi chalane do. Late ho jayega"

Couple of others shout their frustration on the Drunkard and ask him to keep quite. The Drunkard mumbles on, but onone cares.The bus chugs along and the conductor resumes his pushy duty.