Relationship fundas

Met up with a school friend of mine after a long hiatus . The usual Nostalgia gripped us where we laughed and poked fun at each other for the silly and now unimaginable things which we did in school.... ( Like playing cricket for the whole day after the first period attendence ) .. All was honky dory until my friend asked "how many relationships have been in all these years ?"

The Question forced me to look for answers to certain questions which I have so far avoided to the Hilt like why the heck did I not get into a "true" relationship in all these years of my adulthood......Whom do I blame for this single State of mine ??( The human in you always looks for scapegoats )

The answer I find lies deep within myself. I guess I need to blame ( aah.. here comes the scapegoat) the risk averse mindset which I have . I have had great friends with whom I have spend some really great moments and wanted to extend these friendships to something special Relationships .... but somehow.. The fear that what happens if she says the dreaded "no" .. the fear that I lose whatever good time I am having now if I take the next step .. meant that I maintained the Status Quo and waited for something to happen !!!!!!!! rather than going for the Kill...... Only later did I realise that it is only "me" who can make "it" and noone else ....... All I had to do was go with attitude "Come what may I will face it" ......but that is way it is ........ . someone else has made it happen and I am still the Relationship status :Single person who finds solace in saying "Don't care the world"